So, I went to Tucker's house earlier to be coerced into watching movies with Tefanie and Tucker... And it wasn't so bad, I was joking the whole time... Twas fun. :D Like, I'd put on my sunglasses and I'd play with Tucker's phone or my camera... So, eventually they had to take those things away. But yeah. We watched Spaceballs and the second Terminator movie... That's it. Towards the end of Spaceballs me and Tucker started wrestling and poking each other and stuff... Like I'd try to grab his phone from the table and he'd restrain me. Kind of like flirting. I don't know how much of me was actually flirting and how much of me was just enjoying struggling (I am not lying, I do like to fight and struggle and shit... Yeah, I'm weird). But it was déjà vu. My blog from 9th grade is no longer available, so the previous incident isn't recorded, but Amber should remember what I'm thinking of... I think.

This time, my head's... clearer so I won't be making that mistake again. Hopefully not anyway. *rolls eyes* Anyway, twice, I don't remember what he said, but I told him that he wasn't my type and he was like... "Oh really?" Meh. Yeah. And at one point in the wrestling part it was kinda like he was hugging me behind and his head was on my shoulder... yeah. Totally dangerous area in a way.

....yeah. yeah.

I borrowed Trauma Center from him though. :D

Mmm. So, as a prelude, last night... Mom comes home and starts complaining about stuff, and I was in a bad mood to begin with, so I exploded back. Anyway, I left off with putting a slightly emo/slightly angry MSN status.

About an hour later, I started doing my history homework, but first, deciding to be nice, I texted Tyler to let him know we had homework (and knowing him, he would've forgotten to do it). A minute after doing it, I wasn't sure whether or not he'd actually get it, since, apparently, he just got the ability to text and I have no clue how permenant that ability is, but I figured that, should he tomorrow (today) complain about not knowing there was homework, I would, at least, have the justification in saying that I DID send him a text alerting him to it's existence (though it was at... like, 9:50 at night). Whether or not he got it would've been a different story what-so-ever.

Anyway. I finished up my homework in about twenty minutes and made all the preparations for going to bed, with the exception of plugging in my phone. I was just about to plug it in when it started vibrating in my hand. I wasn't sure who'd be texting me at ten at night, but I flipped the phone open and lo and behold the sender was Tyler who was asking for help on the homework because he didn't "have much time." Me, being the nice person that I am (and, no, it's not because it was Tyler- two weeks ago Kyle Overlay texted me early in the morning asking for homework help and I texted him all the answers, sacrificing valuble sleeping time and having to do it slowly), went downstairs and turned on the computer so I could help the guy out.

Once I was logged into MSN, I also logged into AIM, just in case he was on there instead of MSN. But, I sent the first IM via MSN. Instead of asking about the homework first, like I expected him too, he commented on my status message asking "what's with the emo message" or something like that (MSN didn't save the conversation, I know why too, not doing that anymore. xP) and I told him that I wasn't in a good mood. I think he asked why, and I told him family problems, but I didn't go in too deep with that. If he really is interested in my problems then he can ask. I don't want to burden him with them.

Anyway, I asked him what he needed and he said something like "not to be a beggar, but can I have all the answers?" I didn't particularly care about giving him all the answers, though, so I started off asking if he wanted the long definitions or the short definitions for the first two questions, but he told me that he could do them himself (not that he couldn't do all of it himself...) so I gave him the rest of the answers (it was multiple choice). At first, I was going to put it all in one post, but he mentioned it being quiet, so I did them one at a time. Once this was done, I think he asked a bit about the family problem thing, and I don't remember what I told him, but he said something like he thought that couples only argued once they were married, which isn't true. I know it well enough. I don't remember what he asked to get the answe- no, he asked why my house was so bad. It's not that it's bad, it's just that I'm a kind of messed up individual. I didn't get into the details (which I doubt he wanted to hear), but I told him that I figured that I was fucked up. 

...not sure what else, but a little after I gave him the answers, I wanted to get off and go to sleep, but I.... yeah. I also expected him to get off once I gave them to him (also, he was like.... THANK YOU SO MUCH. XOXOXO, that last part kinda freaked me out, but I guess he was tired and wasn't thinking when he IMed that)... but, no. Eventually, though, he said he had to get off (this was probably ten minutes after I had finished giving him the answers) and told me not to think he was avoiding me (it's freaking late, of course I'm not going to think that, idiot). But I told him I had to get off too, especially since I didn't think I was supposed to be on. He told me to be ninja going upstairs and right when I was going to respond, I heard the door upstairs open and I told him it was too late. 

Luckily though, my mom was in the bathroom when I went back into my room, so she probably didn't notice I had been on. Though, this morning, I noticed that she had used the computer (usually she's the one who leaves the monitor on). Anyway, back in my room, I turned out my light and got ready for bed, just as I had a half hour earlier and then I laid down, put my phone on the charger and turned out the light...

...but then my phone rang again- someone had sent me a text. lol.

Though that time it was Ibrahim, and not Tyler.

Anyway, this morning, I heard Jack and Emmett discussing what sounded kind of like gossip and being female, I was interested... So I asked, and Emmett, oddly enough, was being extremely douche-y and told me to fuck off and sit in Malissa's empty seat. I was kind of taken aback by the really mean behavior, but hey, if it means that he's no longer into me, then I'm all for it. When Rayn came by later I asked him if he knew what was going on and he told me that it seemed like Emmett likes some girl and that girl appears to like him back, but if she went out with him then he'd be a rebound- rebounds don't work.

In history, Tyler appeared and turned in his homework and went back to his desk saying how he did his homework completely for once... I don't remember the words exactly, but he said it in a really... freaky way... I started laughing and I told him it wasn't because that he finished his homework but because of how he said it.

At lunch we were selling popcorn again and today was more sucessful than yesterday and the day before... I was, a little, inwardly glad that Courtney wasn't there, though, so it was just me, Tyler and Nicole, though Nicole was running about so most of the time it was just me and Tyler... I did embarass myself by not counting one girls quarters though... ; 3;

Tyler's mormon friend, David, came around and he and Tyler were chatting some. Though, for a while he was just standing in front of the table, looking a little wary... So I told him that it was okay for him to come closer because I don't bite, and then Tyler interjected with the word "hard." That earned something of an incredulous look from me and I was all... "I should hit you!" and he told me that I was just setting myself up for that. So should've said something in response to that...

David moved over to the other side of the popcorn machine and eventually bought a big bag and him and at one point I heard Tyler make an exclaimation of, "Four?!" It turns out David was taking four AP classes, meaning he's got four free classes now (Physics, Government, English Lit... what could the last one be?). Tyler called him crazy and I think mentioned something about his mormon-ness and I was like, "are you serious?! that was mean!" of course, I was kinda joking, though Iunno if he knew that...

 I was also amazed today. I got a 91 on my math test that I was certain I failed!

Me and Sam were playing Go Fish for a while and whenever we told the other Go Fish we said it dramatically, twas amusing. Also we played some other games... Blackjack and two types of poker (which I suck at).

In Chinese there was an explosion between David and Krystina which resulted in the former exiting the room... I've never seen students so... explosive. ._.; I'd send them straight up to the dean's office for disrupting the class.

But, yeah. S'mostly it.

Today was pretty good, my mood was pretty stellar and, le gasp, reverting to what I want it to be... or whatever I think I want it to be. Physics was decent and I found that I understand what we're going over right now... but I love waves, so I guess that could be it.

In comp, though, we were watching Enchanted, which is, in my opinion, a stupid movie. I'm all for rom-coms, but seriously, not that kinda thing. What's worse is that it had nothing to do with 1984 or anything. Coleman must be getting lazy.

In Chinese, Amber told me that Micki and Jack were eating face for lunch at the lunch table. I went into a rant about it, I don't remember it exactly, but it was something like you only eat face if it's cooked or something... Yeah, you just don't make out at a lunch table, no matter what, I mean come on, not only is that... well, that's something you don't do in such a place. I don't think anyone at that table was paying for a show.

About Jack and Micki... Well, when I heard that Micki had been thinking about asking Jack to Sadies I thought that maybe they had more of a chance since she had at least showed interest in her before him... But also, it seems that make that had been what made Jack start to like her. Of course, I may be wrong and it'll work out, but... I don't know. I mean, all that PDA cannot be good. I... just don't know. My Nikki-senses tell me it's not ,as the book I'm currently reading, "something real."

After school was Mr. Adams party, and not many people showed up... And even less people brought food, when I say less, I mean one, and that person happened to be Weninger. I had already told myself that if only one person brought food that I wouldn't have any since I didn't bring any, and I did... I mean, the cookies smelled so good I did almost grab one, but I told myself I wouldn't. I told myself I wouldn't, and not just cuz they were made by Tyler, but because it wasn't right for me to take something when I came empty handed... Which I felt guilty about.

Anyway, he and I played a couple of games of tic-tac-toe on the board, and during one of them he more or less offhandedly mentions he googled his name. He started listing the results, like there was a facebook result, then he mentioned, which I knew of, my blog. I didn't really say anything about it, I knew that if he did google his name that he'd find it (part of the reason that I left it unprivate for a while, and why I wrote it the way that I did). I don't know if he said anything more, but he mentioned that it was basically the email. For a second I didn't know what he was talking about, then I remembered, the email. I didn't want to remember the email. I mean, I don't regret sending it - ends justify the means, but not something I want to remember, you know?

The way he says it, I can only figure that he doesn't really care about it, it only makese sense... But then he mentions it again. I mean, I heard him the first time, does he want me to say something about it? I mean, I don't care so much that he read it, but what bothers me is that I had to be reminded twice about it. And, I was just starting to move on, I mean today was good. I felt normal today, I felt like I used to feel. And then, he mentions it and I start thinking about it again. I mean, I don't think that he... well, I think that he was thinking that it wouldn't be such a big deal... But, you know, mentioning it it twice the way he did... I feel like there's some reason. I mean, it's kind of like Weninger to mention things that he deems important, so... yeah. Ugh, anyway, the bottom line is, I feel like the start of today was one step forward, but the end of the day was like one step back.

...I just gotta tell myself, even if I don't believe it, that what he said is nothing. Or at least I shouldn't place too much concern in it and pick it apart and overanalyze it like other things that I do.

....I really really wish I had an off switch for these damn thoughts and feelings.



By the way, today's Amber's birthday! :DDDDDD